From Betsy:
I am currently married to the love of my life. Dave and I first met when my family moved to SD when I was age 10, and I was enrolled in the local parochial school. Dave and I immediately liked each other. We were an ‘item’ in 7th & 8th grade. While not allowed to date individually, we would arrange to go to the movies with a friend and ‘just happen’ to meet at the theater and ‘accidentally’ end up sitting by each other. After 8th grade we went to the local public high school and each went our separate ways. We went to colleges on opposite ends of SD, met other people, and eventually got married to someone.
Dave lived most of his adult life on the west coast in central Oregon and the San Francisco Bay area. I lived briefly in Michigan, and then lived in western SD. In 1998 our high school started a web site, with a section where former students could post messages. My mother who still lived in that town told me about the new site. Dave’s sister who still lived in the area told him about the site.
In 1998 Dave was divorced, earning an MBA, and thinking about relocating back to SD. I was separated and in the process of getting a divorce while earning an MBA at a university in eastern SD. One late night for a study break I posted a message on the high school web site and included by email address. This is EXTREMELY unusual for me. I think it was fate. Shortly thereafter, Dave visited our high school site, saw my message and sent me an email saying: Hi! Remember me? When I got Dave’s email, I smiled. Did I ever remember Dave…with fond feelings from long ago.
We began emailing each other, rapidly progressed to online chat and phone calls. We found we were still attracted to each other, had similar interests, and our relationship from so long ago resumed. We made arrangements to meet in person and we found out that we were as good (or better) together in person as online. Dave was between positions, so made plans to move back to SD. Four months after reconnecting online, Dave and I were living in the same town! We planned a wedding for March 6, 1999.
When my divorce was final in December, we decided to get married right away…January 6, 1999. But since so many family members were coming to help us celebrate, we continued plans for the March 6 wedding. We still wish each other Happy Month Anniversary, on the sixth of each month…except now I’m the one who remembers.
Our life together has been great. When issues arose, for example, the inevitable stepfamily concerns, Dave and I worked together. We always kept open communication. Dave has been the one ‘sane person’ I have had to count on while experiencing a custody battle and workplace difficulties. We have always valued each other and our relationship. That is why, when Dave was diagnosed in early 2008 with Alzheimer’s we had no regrets.
We continue as we have always. We are a team and each does what we are most capable of handling. Of course the division of tasks has changed dramatically over the past year as Dave’s condition has progressed. We value each other. Dave thanks me every night before bed for ‘all I do for him.’ And I thank Dave ‘for loving me.’
Dave lived most of his adult life on the west coast in central Oregon and the San Francisco Bay area. I lived briefly in Michigan, and then lived in western SD. In 1998 our high school started a web site, with a section where former students could post messages. My mother who still lived in that town told me about the new site. Dave’s sister who still lived in the area told him about the site.
In 1998 Dave was divorced, earning an MBA, and thinking about relocating back to SD. I was separated and in the process of getting a divorce while earning an MBA at a university in eastern SD. One late night for a study break I posted a message on the high school web site and included by email address. This is EXTREMELY unusual for me. I think it was fate. Shortly thereafter, Dave visited our high school site, saw my message and sent me an email saying: Hi! Remember me? When I got Dave’s email, I smiled. Did I ever remember Dave…with fond feelings from long ago.
We began emailing each other, rapidly progressed to online chat and phone calls. We found we were still attracted to each other, had similar interests, and our relationship from so long ago resumed. We made arrangements to meet in person and we found out that we were as good (or better) together in person as online. Dave was between positions, so made plans to move back to SD. Four months after reconnecting online, Dave and I were living in the same town! We planned a wedding for March 6, 1999.
When my divorce was final in December, we decided to get married right away…January 6, 1999. But since so many family members were coming to help us celebrate, we continued plans for the March 6 wedding. We still wish each other Happy Month Anniversary, on the sixth of each month…except now I’m the one who remembers.
Our life together has been great. When issues arose, for example, the inevitable stepfamily concerns, Dave and I worked together. We always kept open communication. Dave has been the one ‘sane person’ I have had to count on while experiencing a custody battle and workplace difficulties. We have always valued each other and our relationship. That is why, when Dave was diagnosed in early 2008 with Alzheimer’s we had no regrets.
We continue as we have always. We are a team and each does what we are most capable of handling. Of course the division of tasks has changed dramatically over the past year as Dave’s condition has progressed. We value each other. Dave thanks me every night before bed for ‘all I do for him.’ And I thank Dave ‘for loving me.’
From Bob:
"Maryland is not known for Tornados, so you know that when we get one, something miraculous is bound to happen. One came through the Hilendale section of Baltimore County on June 17, 1973. It overturned a car and then ripped through an apartment complex somehow tearing the roofs off of every other building. I didn’t live anywhere near there, but had been at my step-mother’s house to help her with some chores. On our way back home, my buddy and I had stopped at a restaurant in Hillendale. We heard all the sirens and watched the fire trucks and police cars race by and a morbid curiosity drove us to walk back to check out all the excitement. As we stood looking at the destruction, I noticed Mary with two of her friends directly behind us. I kept looking back and tried to work up the courage to say something to her. I couldn’t think of an ice breaker until I overheard one of them say, “Isn’t this some way to start our vacation?” Now, how do three young women all start vacation the same day? I turned around and asked Mary, “Do you teach?” She replied, “Yes, do you?” No, I didn’t, but the ice was broken and we began a discussion which resulted in learning her name and phone number.
As for Mary”s story, she wasn’t supposed to be there either. Her plan had been to drive to other side of the county to buy a TV. She started out in beautiful, bright sun, but before she even got to the beltway, it began to rain torrentially. She turned around and by the time she got home, it was sunny. She turned around and again, the skies darkened and opened up. This happened three times and she actually looked heavenward and said, “Okay God. I get the message. You don’t me to go there today.”
I took her to dinner the following Friday and on Saturday went with her when she bought the infamous TV. (After all, she needed a man to carry the TV to and from her car!) There was a crab house within walking distance of her apartment and if you know anything about eating steamed hard crabs, it is very leisurely and time consuming. We would talk and talk for over two hours over a dozen crabs. By August, I proposed and when she accepted, we discussed which school holiday we wanted to utilize for the wedding and honeymoon. We didn’t want to complicate things by doing it over Christmas and I didn’t really want to wait until Easter or the following summer. That left Thanksgiving, so our wedding day, November 17, was five months to the day from when we met!
This year is our thirty-fifth anniversary. I can honestly say that I love her more (or at least differently) than I did on our wedding day. She is now totally dependent upon me which I view as an honor. We have been through good times and bad raising two boys, but we have always been through them together. I regret that our “golden years” are not so golden, but we have had a chance to enjoy retirement before things got too bad. When she retired in 2002, she was already exhibiting early memory difficulties. We tried to take a trip every six months. We have been to Hawaii, The Alaska Inside Passage, The Panama Canal, The Mexican Riviera, Amsterdam, and this past spring to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon. That last trip was pretty hard on both of us and is probably our last.
Like all of us, I know what the future will bring. I just don’t know when. I only hope that she remains as happy and compliant as she is now. As long as we have that smile, I can do anything."
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